come wander with me in my garden
which gives me great comfort each day
this pathway leads past the Nostalgia
to beds of Dementia gay
I’ll pick you some scarlet Alzheimers
with maybe Forgetfulness blue
as well as a few little Asthmas
to add an alternative hue
and now to complete your own posy
I’ll add some Sciatica sprigs
with trimmings of climbing Fibrosis
and fragrant Incontinence twigs
my favourite bloom is Arthritis
which grows in profusion just here
while this Hypertension’s so pungent
it keeps all your sinuses clear
and don’t you just love that Angina
beside the Glaucoma so bright!
the Flatulence perfume’s exquisite
and often much stronger at night
there’s nothing to equal a garden
for bringing one pleasure and peace
where one can grow pretty Offensive
while slowly one’s marbles decrease
(c) Mona E. Randall

The above poem comes from The Geriatric Garden and other poems (Boulder Press, Nelson 2010).
Mona reckons that when she published her first book at 86 years of age she must be one of the oldest authors in the country to do so. Mona has recently had a heart attack and is still in hospital. But she is looking forward to celebrating her 89th birthday on the 4th of July (with fireworks of course) as she enters her ninetieth year! She is especially looking forward to checking out her garden and doing some more planting, though with a grin, husband Clem declares this as tiger country for Mona at present.
I am lucky to count Mona as a wonderful friend and inspiration. She has a terrific sense of humour and always makes me laugh. Mona is a wordlover, prolific family history and newsletter writer, moving more recently into short stories and poetry. She is also a multiple winner in Bay Lit, the annual Golden Bay writing competition and has been a regular performer at The Mussel Inn’s Live Poets. and let’s not forget she is also a theatre buff, actor, producer, musical director, pianist, chorister, gardener and story-telling granny, great granny and great-great granny. And most of this is since her retirement!
To read a great article about how Mona and Clem developed their beautiful garden from the gorse, go here Scroll down to Mudcakes and Roses Issue August to September 2010 and enjoy.
The Geriatric Garden and other poems can be ordered from Page and Blackmore here
Remember to return to the Tuesday Poem Blog and enjoy this week’s edit from Tim Jones and the great selection of poetry from other Tuesday Poets in the sidebar. Have a great week 🙂
I had the pleasure of meeting Mona when I judged the Bay Lit awards in 2012 – and if I recall correctly, she was among the prizewinners! It was lovely to met her then, and I enjoyed this slyly funny poem as well. All the best for your recovery, Mona, and for more writing!
Thanks Tim, yes slyly funny is the word…as a member of her writers group I can tell you we always hold our breath when she tells one of her jokes!
I do love your poems Mona…humour like this keeps us all happy..
Thanks for visiting June. She was making a few people laugh when I saw her today!
I started reading this a little bemused. Was it poking too much fun at the aged?, I thought. If I hadn’t learnt that the author is an elderly person, would I have allowed myself to enjoy it as much? So clever, and brave, as well.
Thank you Mona, and Helen for posting.
Thanks Penelope… brave yes but elderly …I have never thought of Mona as that! 🙂
Very entertaining!
Yes it is that 🙂 Thanks Janis
I love the sense of humour that still manages to catch the sense of a ‘real’ garden–and hope that Mona is back to both poetry and garden soon.
Thank you Helen on her behalf. Her husband Clem says her garden is to be considered as tiger country from now on i.e. no go but Mona had a glint in her eye 🙂
This poem of Mona’s always make me laugh.Thanks for posting it Helen.
Wendy
At least Mona has not lost one iota of her sense of humour. One of those actresses like Bette Davis or Joan Crawford once said: “Old age ain’t for sissies.”
Thanks Wendy Mona will be pleased to hear that…and Andrew…I can just imagine Mona saying that too…when she gets there. 🙂 !
That thar’s a delightful sense of humour – and brings bit of a tear to the eye – perfect 🙂 As Andrew Bell quoted “Old age ain’t for sisies” and neither are hospitals, so bravery is in order 🙂 And of course, best wishes. 🙂
Thanks Alicia. Yes she has got a delightful sense of humour. Thanks for your lovely comment on Mona’s behalf. 🙂